'A "grandma shower" is just tacky': Employee gets coworkers to throw her unnecessary party, one employee opts out of "absolutely ridiculous" event

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Oct 30, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Some people will find any excuse to throw a party. In the office, that can be cause for some eye-rolling! Sure, it's nice to show up to the office to see some free food, or to briefly celebrate a coworker's newest achievement in life. But some offices are constantly throwing parties that no one really asked for, and it can really start eating up the employees' valuable time. 

It's one thing if there's an HR person or office manager planning things. But it's a whole other story if the employees themselves are supposed to bake desserts, purchase decorations, and coordinate time outside of work hours to make the event happen. At least this person, u/theamazingloki, is pushing back on one coworker's unnecessary party. It's a "grandma shower," something that's completely out-of-place to have in an office environment. As the original poster points out, they don't actually know this coworker or her family that well, and the family seems to have an abundance of gifts already, but even that hasn't stopped their coworkers from calling them out. 

After that, the only thing scarier than Halloween night is receiving a cheap costume in the mail, like one person whose "Halloween costume came and the gloves only have 4 fingers." 

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  • 01
    • e oh Baby
    via Ajeet Singh on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to participate in a "grandma shower" at my office?
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 03
    Hi Reddit. I admittedly have some bias when it comes to baby- related stuff so I could use some opinions. Something about my workplace- remember the "party planning committee" in The Office? Well, we basically have that. The committee usually is responsible for buying everyone a cake&card on their birthday and we'll have themed lunches every now and then-4th of July BBQ,
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 04
    International potluck for the Olympics, Cinco de Mayo tacos- you get the gist. Now, an important element of this story is the fact that I've always loved baking & am quite good at it. So every time we have a themed lunch, I always bring a baked good that fits the theme. It's gotten to the point where people are always trying to guess what I'll bring and are always super excited to see what I'll do next. Generally, I love it and have fun with it. Until now.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 05
    About a week ago, my coworker announced she's expecting a granddaughter in the fall. An email went around and I sent congratulations. Fine. However, since then, the party planning committee has announced that we will be hosting a "grandma shower" for my coworker for lunch next week and they've been circulating a sign up sheet for everyone to bring food as well as the baby registry and encouraging everyone to
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 06
    participate in a "diaper drive". Notably-I've never met my coworker's daughter and thus seriously doubt I'd ever meet this baby girl. So far, there have been about six emails about this "shower". I've been ignoring them all. Then, today, one of my coworkers came into my office and asked why I hadn't signed up to bring dessert yet?
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 07
    Now, here's where I may be TA. I basically told her I wasn't planning on baking something and didn't think I was going to participate in the "shower". When asked why, I just said that tbh, I don't know coworker's daughter and didn't really feel like getting someone I don't know a present for a baby I'll never meet. My coworker made a face and said she understood but that "grandma" coworker might be disappointed.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 08
    On the one hand, I feel like maybe I'm TA and I could have just baked some brownies and called it a day to participate and not hurt anyone's feelings. But on the other hand, I find it absolutely ridiculous to host a "grandma shower" and expect people to bring gifts for a random baby. I feel like I am right in standing on principle on this but at the same time I know I have some bias here. For context, my husband
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 09
    and I have been trying to have a baby for years and we are currently undergoing IVF treatments so I know I'm a little sensitive about babies right now. No one at work knows, so I know they're not trying to be cruel. But at the same time, being confronted with babies left and right is also extremely draining for me. Idk, Reddit-AITA for refusing to participate or should I just up and participate with everyone it
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 10
    else? Editing to add some additional context: As many people have guessed- yes this is the south and the party planning committee is all Southern white women in their 50/60s. I didn't realize how glaringly obvious that was lol! As far as "grandma" is concerned, I don't necessarily think she pushed for the shower
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 11
    but she's definitely going along with it. Not sure if that affects anyone's opinion but I saw several people assume she's a and I don't MIL from necessarily think that is the case. Also-mom-to-be apparently had a baby shower last weekend and another email has been sent out about an hour ago stating that they got so many infant sized diapers at their shower that
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 12
    they're asking we buy diapers the next size up for the "granny shower". I...don't know what to even say to that. & yes, we got bad news IVF-wise last week and I realize I'm emotional and may not be super objective right now
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 13
    I might be TA because I refused to participate in the baby shower on principle and may have hurt my coworker's feelings when I could have just sucked it up and participated.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 14
    WebAcceptabl... NTA and a grandma shower is just ridiculous and not a thing. The mother to be will get a baby shower. Throwing an additional one and calling it a grandma shower is just tacky.
    via u/WebAcceptable7932
  • 15
    babyeventhelo... You're NTA for not wanting to be involved in a forced office-initiated gift-grab for someone who's not even having the baby themselves. If folks are friends with their coworkers, then sure, get them some congratulatory card or trinket, but a grandma shower is too much. It's not easy to stick to your principles on
    via u/babyeventhelosers_
  • 16
    something, especially when someone will take it personally, but it doesn't mean you're wrong. You're not wrong. They're asking for too much.
    via u/babyeventhelosers_
  • 17
    StAlvis ΝΤΑ we will be hosting a "grandma shower" This is not a thing.
    via u/StAlvis
  • 18
    Dante2377 NTA. This is the "forced" dumb s**t that people hate about offices. grandma shower is one of the dumber things I've heard.....
    via u/Dante2377

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